My body: Wow. You haven’t been sick since… *checks calendar* December! Time to give it a go!
Me: Uh… I have a meeting. Two meetings! And I have those spreadsheets I have to fix, and I have that test I was going to give the kids today, and….

3A: One eye glues itself shut with gunk. The other eye decides it’s a good deal and joins the first.

Me: Arrrgghhhhh!
MB: No, no, don’t thank me. You really needed a day off.